4.21.2008

Vision

Something I take for granted every single day: vision. Not only just being able to see but my overall healthy body. I can say that I am thankful for my health, but until you hear the words from your doctor, "You could have lost your vision," you never really understand how truly thankful you must be....

I am always having some sort of eye problem. Having glasses/contacts since I was 8, you have things happen of course, but for some reason over the last 5 years or so it has progressively gotten worse. I am VERY prone for eye infections. From allergies, to just bacterial infections, it seems that I am at the doctor at least 4 times a year, if not more. At the end of February I had went in for the typical routine, red eyes, cant wear contacts, etc and they sent me away with a antibiotic eye drop. Well in the 6 weeks since then I have not been able to wear my contacts again consistently so have pretty much been in my glasses. Anyways, this past week I could tell that my vision in my left eye was blurry. Sitting in front of a computer screen all day this happens sometimes, but it was different. No matter which way I looked out of my right eye, it was blurry.

After 3 hours at the doctor on Friday, and many tests later, they found that my cornea was swollen and therefore causing me to have distorted vision. Sounds like no big deal right? Well actually this "spot" on my eye that was swollen, if not treated promptly and properly, would scar and therefore cause me to have permanent loss of vision in the area. Before finding this place on my eye, they had done a vision test on me (for those who have contacts you know what I am talking about when they say which one is better, 1 or 2, and they flip the little things to see how strong your prescription needs to be). At the end of all of her flippings she put what was supposed to be the prescription that helped me see best, and yet I still couldn't see. She said I was only seeing 20/30. Before she left she asked, "Do you have any questions?" Well of course I have a question ha.. WHY CANT I SEE? She said that something was causing my right eye not to see as well as it should, even with correction. (This is the point where I almost lost it). You know were 1,000 thoughts start going through your head like: I am going blind, I will never be able to see my husband again, I wont know what my children look like, etc... man those are scary! I called JR in the mean time to tell him about the further testing that they would have to do to find out what exactly was going on. He very quickly reminded me that God was there with me, has a perfect plan for me and that everything would be ok. I am so grateful for a husband who I know will always pray with/for me, it really eased my uneasiness during that time of uncertainty. Of course what I wanted to be thinking was "I am only 25, I should not be going blind!"

Sitting in the room while I waited on the doctor to come back in, I thought to myself..... Do I trust God's plan? Would I have been okay if the doctors said, "Lindsey, you are going blind." I know that I am jumping to the worst thing possible, but it is times like this that you do always question. I am confident in saying yes I do; I do trust God's plan. I am so grateful for His plan for my life and I am more thankful that He hears me in my times fear and not-knowing. It would be hard to lose your vision forever there is no doubt about that and I am thankful that it is not the case for me at this time. I know that God taught me many things through this situation, but ultimately I am grateful that I can rely on Him to carry out the perfect plan He has for my life.

My eye is already 200% better and I am seeing just fine now. I only share this story because I do hope it will help someone else like me who is always so so busy to take the time to stop and be thankful for the small things and to rejoice in God's everlasting promises.

3 comments:

The Rue Family said...

Amen Linds! I am glad to hear that you are not blind! I had some of the same thoughts and worries as well when Gracie was going thru so much stuff with her eyes. But you are right God has a plan!!! Thankfully!! Love ya.

Anonymous said...

glad things are better sister!!!

Tara said...

All I have to say is "bless your heart"! I cant imagine having those thoughts. So glad you are seeing better now! I will be praying for your eyesight to stay strong.