Humbled by His grace

Yesterday was the most humbling day of my life. For those who have not already heard, we are in the final stages of interviewing with our church here in Durham. JR has been nominated for the Family Pastor position and as a part of the interview process he had the opportunity to preach during the morning service. I dont think either one of us have ever been so nervous in our lives!! Bethesda has about 450 people that attend and this was his FIRST time preaching. And if that wasnt pressure enough, this was what the members would be going off of for the vote next week. Whew all I can say is... I am so glad God is in control!! JR and I both knew without a doubt that God has called him for just this, and yet we have zero experience in a church and honestly no merit to even have this opportunity- its simply God's grace.

JR had been practicing for weeks and I have never seen him work so hard at something. Even still as of Saturday night when we went to bed, he still did not feel confident in himself being able to communicate this message that God had given him. Praise the Lord for the Holy Spirit because he TOTALLY showed up and JR spoke better than I could have EVER imagined. Tears of joy would not stop streaming down my face as I have never been so proud of him in all my life. In Christ alone, the words came out of his mouth as if he had been preaching ALL his life. Simply amazing.

I had honestly been crying even before he had started because as I stood beside my groom in the front row of church and realized that this was really happening, I was overwhelmed. So many emotions all in one moment. Nervousness, excitement, joy, humbleness, etc. He was about to stand and preach God's word. We had really been given this opportunity? But God why? We are not worthy of this. Are you sure you want to use US? I know you know who we are... inside and out. Are you SURE? I simply could not believe how good God has been to us. His faithfulness all along the way, not because of who we are, BUT who He is.

Once the service was over, the overflow of love and support from our church family made me speechless. As they congradulated JR for a job well done and gave him the greatest compliment in the world, saying that they would have thought he had been preaching all his life they way that he was able to communicate God's word, I honestly felt as if I was dreaming. AND seeing our dearest friends we have made these last 4 years as well as both sets of my grandparents there to support us- truly grateful. (My Mimi and Potts drove in from TN, but sadly my Potts had to stay at home sick. AND we got a HUGE surprise from Mamaw and Frank as they showed up, coming all the way from Florida!! I have the greatest grandparents in the world. Never is there a moment in my life when they are not there to support.)

Even as I type this I realize you may be thinking, but Lindsey, why are you so shocked? Yall have been at seminary for 4 years now and you knew that JR was getting educated to be in full time ministry. And you are right, I do know that, but seriously... its one thing to dream it and another to see God reveal it right in front of you. ESPECIALLY when neither one of us had any plans of being a pastor/pastor's wife when we started our journey together nearly 12 years ago. But our life together is not about our plans, but simply God's plans for us because He truly knows best.

The church vote will be Easter Sunday. I will of course keep you updated. We thank you in advance for your prayers, knowing that God is in control and no matter what the decision we trust Him knowing the His plans are best.


Megan said...

I am a "lurker" but I just wanted to comment and say I went to world changers last summer in Durham, NC and the church that sponsered us was Bethesda! It was such a great church! Hope you have a great day!


The Walker Family said...

Do they have a way that I can download the sermon!? I would LOVE to hear it!!! I am sooo proud of you guys and so happy that God has been so faithful to you both..He is SO good!!!! I am praying tons!! I love you ALL!!

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