Missing my Mamaw today. Its been one year since she went to be with Jesus... oh how I miss her!
Here is what I shared about her at her funeral:
I am honored to be standing here with the opportunity to
celebrate the life of a grandmother, mother, wife, sister, and friend. It is
really difficult to put into words how much Mamaw has meant to me in the last
31 years but I hope to give you a glimpse of the legacy she has left me and our
family. My earliest memories of her go back to my childhood when all the
grandkids would spend the night with her. She would make a pallet out of cushions
in her room for all of us and then we would wake up to her wonderful homemade
biscuits and gravy. We would have contests to see who could eat the most and if
I recall Alan won most of those. I am kidding, but Alan did like to remind me
often that during those sleepovers, I would always convince Mamaw that I
couldn’t go to sleep without her rubbing my back. And yes I do realize I was a
bit spoiled. But let me backup to her cooking again. Everything she made was
delicious and I loved sitting on her counter to “help” her. Usually the only
helping I did was licking the batter off the spoon. Chocolate pies and cakes,
chicken and noodles, and oh those biscuits that I know a lot of you all
remember as well! Her house truly was the place where our family met, and even
more special to me, it was where cousins became best friends. She loved all of
her grandchildren so very much. At every birthday party, graduation, sports
events, or anything we did for that matter. She made each of us quilts from the
colleges we graduated from and she just loved to give us anything she could.
Giving giving giving, always wanting to give us something. I never went to her
house without walking out with something, and even until the last days of her
life. I would go in asking how she was doing and she would immediately divert
the question and say, “Go in there and get those Disney pens I have for the
boys. I want to make sure they remember me.” To which I responded, Mamaw you
don’t have to give us anything else, you have already given enough! And of
course we will remember you. Not for the things that you’ve given us but the
constant love and support you gave. She was always there.And sometimes even
supporting me when no one else was. I’ll never forget when I had just had
Carter and Griffin was two and we found out I needed to pack my whole house in
10 days and move. I freaked out a bit to say the least. But as soon as I called
Mamaw, she could hear it in my voice and without me even asking she says, “We
will be there tomorrow!” So here was Mamaw and Frank the next day taking care
of my boys so I could pack. They would bring their camper and stay at the end
of our road and the boys thought it was so cool that their house could drive!
Every morning they would go and have breakfast in the RV, poptarts of course!
Oh the many places those two went in their RV. I am SO thankful for all of the
travels that she got to have. We always would have Thanksgiving at her house
and combine Christmas then too because we knew that they would be flying south
for winter and not returning until Spring. All 50 states they saw, and what an
adventure I know that was! Some of you may not know that Mamaw and Grandpa
Frank met line dancing. Boy did she love to line dance. I remember taking a
social dance class in college and having an assignment to go to a community
dance in Knoxville. Well when all of my classmates saw Mamaw and Frank there
they said, “Wow. Your grandmother is here? That’s so cool!” Matching outfits
and dressed to the 9’s, they shared many dances together and I loved tagging
along with her! Cool and spunky are both words I would use to describe her
personality. I am sure each of you have memories of her spunk too. It made me
laugh everytime I would call her she would answer and say hello. Then I would
usually say HEY MAMAW! To which she would reply WHAT! That same spunk stuck
with her even when she got the news that she had stage 4 cancer and there was
nothing they could do. She handled it with such poise and the nurses kept
commenting on her stoic nature. Most people would not take that news head on
like she did. “Well its going to be my time to go soon and I am sorry.” Even in
that moment she wasn’t concerned with herself and how sick she was, she was
concerned with her family, those that she would have to leave behind. She
accepted that this was God’s plan for her. She did make sure to add her spunk
back in though and add, “Well im still going to be around for another 6months
to a year. You aren’t getting rid of me yet!” These last two months have been
very difficult for her family to watch and at the same time we treasure the
time we were able to spend with her. She really enjoyed all of the visitors
that she had. I loved watching her with my children, still making memories by
cooking chessbars and flapjacks, still smiling because she was so happy to have
them around. She told the nurses several times, “Thanksgiving we had 45 people
here in this house!” She was so thankful to have the whole family together
again. Sharing stories, old pictures, laughing and crying together. None of us
were ready for her to go and yet seeing her in so much pain we knew that she
was ready. The last time I called and asked her how she was doing she said,
“Terrible!” She always had a way of never beating around the bush. 2 days late
I shared the news with my boys, Griffin and Carter who are 3 and 5. “Ive got
good news! Mamaw was now with Jesus in Heaven and in no more pain! They paused
for a moment as to try and comprehend what that meant and then Carter said,
“Wow, Mommy! I wonder what its like in Heaven!” Right then in that moment when
I was the saddest that I have ever been in my life and could not stop my tears
from coming, my son quickly reminded me of what a celebrating that day was!
This scripture came to mind: And God Himself will be with them and he will wipe
away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, crying or pain.”
I replied to Carter, “Buddy, there is no doubt that Mamaw is finding out all
about heaven right now. I am sure she asked for the grand tour!”
I read this quote on Christmas eve out of a book she had
while she was resting. “Our Christian hope is that we are going to live with
Christ in a new earth where life is what it was always meant to be.” As I sat
there holding her hand, and difficultly watched her body approaching her
forever home I was made more fully aware than ever before the gift we have in
Jesus. He came to deliver us from sin and death. To provide a way for us to
live with Him for eternity and in a place where life is about what it was
always meant to be. Being with God, enjoying God and being enjoyed by Him. He
never intended for their to be death and sadness like we are experiencing right
now. But thankfully, in His amazing love and grace He provided a way for us
even when we continually disobey Him. We make life about everything but Him.
And truly in the end, Mamaw knew it was all about Him. Its all about Jesus. He
takes this sting of death away and we must remind ourselves that there is no
hope without Him. I know each of you knew my grandmother’s giving heart. And I
do believe that one of the last things she can give us is the reminder that
nothing else matters. She couldn’t take her ‘things” with her. Her travels
around the world, although fun, didn’t really matter in the end. What matters
is that she loved Jesus. She put her faith in Him and now she is with Him for
all of eternity. Can you imagine what its like? The bible says, “And there the
multitudes were sitting around the throne singing, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord
God almighty! Who was and is and is to come!” Mamaw is face to face with Jesus.
Shes in no more pain, shes walking again and she is where she was always
intended to be. I am so thankful for the legacy she left me. Always give to
others, travel and see new things, don’t be afraid to try new things. Love and
supporting your family is the greatest gift you can give them. And most of all
to love Jesus. She has set the standard high for being a grandmother and I can
only hope that one day I will have a granddaughter and have the relationship
with her that mamaw and I had. I love you Mamaw! I know you are smiling down on
me now and I hope I made you proud J
